Thursday 9 February 2017

Do You Find it Difficult to Accept Criticism?




I was trying to instigate a conversation with someone the other day. With this particular individual most of the time the conversation is free-flowing, amiable and not without banter (aka her taking the proverbial Michael from Michael)

However, this time, the conversation was strained. Her replies were limited to one word answers accompanied by sighs and a clear inference she just didn’t want to talk to me. Being a hypnotherapist, I wanted to see if I could ascertain if there was anything troubling her and if I could help in any way.

Eventually she told me she was going through the trauma of a bad week. You know the sort of thing that can affect all of us. A difficult time at work, people having a go for no apparent reason, family arguments. Oh, and the final demand for paying the gas/electric/phone/council tax bill is screaming at you from the shelf you stack all red letters on (it’s not just me is it?)

The common thread in her bad week was criticism. Her line manager at work had been on at her several times that week regarding this that and the other. She felt under a lot of pressure because there was so much work to do and there just wasn’t enough time in the day. And she felt her manager was wholly unjustified in her criticism.

When she arrived at what she believed was the sanctuary of home, she was on the receiving end of her grown up daughter having a go at her all because she was unable to look after her grandson on Friday evening,

When she looked to her husband for support, he was occupied with other things. ‘Ach, ye need to get a grip’ was her husband’s less than supportive remark which merely added to the weight of criticism she felt she was under.

I told her that hypnotherapy could help her. She gave me a puzzled look. She said she was aware that hypnotherapy can help with things such as weight loss, smoking cessation and phobias but she wanted to know how it could help her deal with the veritable mountain of criticism that engulfed her that week.

I explained that when someone gives criticism it doesn't mean to say that they're rejecting that you – in fact, often, it can be quite the opposite. If they were rejecting you as someone who is worthless, they probably wouldn't even bother with their unwarranted, unwanted criticism. Their criticism could be because they value your work so highly that they want to let you know what you’ve done or what you have said wasn’t as effective as it might be.

And a loved one’s assertion to ‘get a grip!’ might be a back-handed compliment in that ‘but you’re such a strong character you don’t usually let criticism affect you’.

It depends on how you view criticism. Hypnotherapy can help you look at criticism differently. By encouraging your subconscious mind to look at criticism a different way it can help you cope with it more constructively. And constructive criticism can be a positive experience. Sometimes we need to change the way we think about things or the way we say things. It can help you develop as an individual.

Think about using cricket as a metaphor. The bowler launches a ball of criticism at you. Do you cower or try to avoid this delivery? You could do. Or you could take aim and bat it away for six. Not only have you dealt with this delivery of criticism you’ve turned it into a positive spin (that’s enough cricketing metaphors)

If you feel the criticism isn’t deserved, then question the person who's criticising you - put your own view across and then listen - to whatever is said. Or if you feel you are unable to verbalise this then say it to yourself, in your own mind.

You can’t control whatever criticism comes your way – but you can control the way you feel about it. You are the only person who can decide if this will affect you in any way. Only you have this power. And because you’re in control you can decide to use any criticism to help you build the necessary skills and abilities to develop your career and/or relationships.

This is where hypnotherapy can help you. By using the power of your mind, you can turn criticism into something that can actually be a positive thing.

That said, no one likes to receive criticism. We are all different and it can affect some people more than others. If you are someone who feels they can’t deal with criticism and would like some support, please contact me by:

Phone or text me on 07521353787 (24 hours) to arrange a date and time for an initial consultation or email me at: mike.smith@mgs-hypnotherapy-services.co.uk

Home visits are available by arrangement.

Whether you wish to stop smoking, lose weight, increase self-confidence or overcome a phobia why don't you contact me to arrange a consultation and take the first step to overcoming this by natural methods - the strength and power of your mind - by contacting me for further information. 

We have but one life – so why not try and change your life for the better?

Mike Smith Hyp CS

National Hypnotherapy Society Membership No: HYP14-01935






1 comment:

  1. Excellent article Mike.....very well written and explained.
    More power to you my friend.
    Peggy xxxx

    ReplyDelete